A Lack Mentality: It’s holding you back
Have you ever questioned how someone else has time to juggle all of life’s demands AND attend school events AND make all the baked goods, healthy, home-cooked means AND embrace hobbies like painting?
Super-individuals that appear to have the “work-life” balance down pat, are simply not “super” at all. We judge them and reassure this lack mentality by belittling or devaluing them in some way. If they have no downfall, our pride is hurt and we are left feeling defeated.
What’s Going On in Our Brains?
Multitudes of brain functions and racing minds happen at once. A constant focus of “not enough” attaches itself like a leech. Whether they are themes of time, money or love, this activates the amygdala (the brain’s fear centre) and elevates our levels of cortisol and adrenalin (stress response). This causes the feelings of anxiety, difficulty regulating emotions and disrupted sleep or appetite.
Mani et al. (2013), undertook a study that found that participants experiencing financial scarcity could not perform problem solving, focus or emotional regulatory cognitive tasks efficiently. In fact, they observed a 13-point drop in IQ. This is not to say that someone is less intelligent due to stress. They are, however, distracted. With regular reminders of the stress, your focus is constantly impaired on a subconscious level.
The Law of Attraction
What is happening is known as The Law of Attraction. This is that we receive validation and confirmation through what we focus our attention on. Our reticular activating system (RAS) is the part of the brain that filters what it absorbs. When you are constantly focussing on what you don’t have, you continually notice that you do not have it. Which confirms the lack and negative experience. In other words, we constantly remind ourselves and in-turn, continue the stress cycle. We attract more thoughts of lack, stress cycles and lack of focus.
The Law of Attraction refers to emotions as energetic signals. Emotions that we perceive as “bad” such as fear or anxiety are recorded to emit low vibrational frequencies from the brain. Similarly, a radio signal emits vibrational frequencies. How we listen to a radio station is our car’s radio receiver emits the same frequency to receive the sound. When we send out low vibrational frequencies, people, situations, circumstances, places are attracted into our external reality for us to experience. These experiences align with the frequency we are existing in at that time.
Psychological concepts such as emotional contagion or confirmation bias support this theory.
It is the notion that anxious energy or lack of confidence repels opportunities and connections as opposed to attracting them.
The key is to cultivate a positive mindset and cease the scarcity mindset cycle.
Neuroscience & Spirituality
What you focus on shapes your reality. This is the key principle that aligns neuroscience studies and spiritual practices.
Neuroplasticity is the process of our thoughts altering our brain neurotransmitters (our wiring). This means our thoughts teach our brains to form neural pathways - solidifying these themes or ideas as evidence that we have learnt something. So, when we focus on “bad”, negativity or lack, we are teaching ourselves this is what to expect. This prioritises the stress responses and continues the scarcity cycles. In turn, we are influencing our decisions through fear by risk aversion to avoid the possible outcome which creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. We never force ourselves out of this cycle to discover the experience of something new because although the lack doesn’t feel good, it is where the brain has become comfortable in an expected outcome. Your comfort zone is the lack.
Where Spiritual Practices Come In
The lack mentality is just that. A mentality. Which means with practice, we can alter this perception. It does not mean throwing your responsibilities out the door. It means evolving how you look at your life as it is now. Having a positive mentality in your current external reality (situation) is what will attract more opportunities. It means cultivating what has been referred to as a “winning” mentality. The trick is to take the opportunity when it is presented, don’t listen to the fear.
Progressing towards a new mindset is as simple as one small step every day. It is not big changes immediately. So give yourself a break and let’s not trigger the amygdala.
Do Not Compare Your Progress to Others
Learn to only compare yourself to who you were yesterday or 5 minutes ago. We are unique and constantly evolving. Do not discredit all of your efforts in life so far. We will never know what another has experiences or led their evolution. So only focus on your own.
Affirmation Reminders
In my experience, I did not find that phone alerts were as useful as putting affirmation sticky notes everywhere I readily looked. On the mirror getting ready in the morning. On the steering wheel of my car. Or your computer screen on your desk. These are the most obvious reminders of positivity and they are a love note from yourself. If can be anything you have heard from anyone that just made you feel good and positive.
Take the Pressure Off
Start a self-reflection practice. Just begin by noticing the tone of your thoughts. Notice when you think, ‘that’d be nice’, ‘if only I had that’, ‘when I can’, ‘maybe one day’. A lack mentality is anything that you do not have or cannot do. There are lots and lots of examples in my head. Begin by writing them down, anywhere you can. Just get them out of your head. Do not try to push them away, they will only return with more force.
Then begin asking yourself where this comes from. ‘Why am I rushing?’ Answer yourself with sincerity, conviction, patience and your Self as the priority. Question these answers. ‘Why is this important to you?’
Then recognise that you are choosing to do this behaviour for a gain that improves your life. If not, you can choose otherwise. You are in control of your external reality. It is about what you choose to experience or tolerate.
“I am safe. I am supported. There is always enough.
I trust there is enough for me.
I am exactly where I should be.”
